Drinking may leave you with numbed senses, a foggy brain and an inability to drive but it can make you great at a couple of things too! Dancing, singing, calling your exes up and speaking your mind, these are the things you get better at after a couple of beers. Here’s some more things get better at while sloshed:
Too shy to dance? Is your dancing too stiff and awkward? After a beer or two you will be dancing like a pro! (at least in your eyes, to the rest you look like Bobby Deol).
Most of us hesitate to get into a fist fight but not when we are a little buzzed. That turns us into Batman! How dare you steal my peanuts, I’ll show you my Ninja moves!
Where did that new pack of cigarettes go? No way, I’ve smoked them all and its literally next to me in the ash-tray. I’m gonna fight and get my ciggies back from that weird guy who keeps staring at me!
4. Finding Ugly People Attractive
Ever heard of the term, beer-goggles? Its when beer can make even someone like Dolly Bindra look like Sunny Leone, Okay not Dolly Bindra but you get the gist. Beer has been helping people get laid since the barley was brewed.
5. Honesty and Truth
Your friend has a horrible haircut and you don’t have the courage to tell her. A Cosmopolitan is the solution. Your friend will secretly be grateful for your honesty but you didn’t have to tell her she looked like Rekha in Khoon Bhari Maang.
6. Drunk Texting
The best, most hilarious texts come when your drunk. The internet thanks you for those ‘Funniest Texts Ever’ lists which would have never have happened without your participation.
7. Calling up Your Crushes
Always had a crush on that girl but too chicken to ask her out? Alcohol will embolden you, it will make you call up that girl at 3AM and demand a date. If she says No, she can sod off! You have your ex-grilfriend to fall back on!
8. Sharing Everything About Yourself
If your therapist or spouse/partner has ever told you to ‘open up’ they clearly haven’t seen you after a few drinks. Your imaginary childhood friend, your biggest fears and the fact that you don’t really like pickles will be shared with the rest of the bar.
Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry claimed to have not vomited for 13 years and 5 days? It was a cookie that ended his streak but if he had been a drinker he would have never boasted of that weird feat. Heavy drinking makes vomiting second nature. Heck, you may even be able to vomit when you please and you just don’t know it yet.
Who doesn’t like a nice warm hug? Drinking makes you give everyone around you big bear hugs and make the world a better place.
This is a humorous list and not be taken seriously. Results may vary.