11 Things I Want My 6-Month Old Baby to Learn From 6-Year Old Calvin


1. Things Are Never Quite As Scary When You’ve Got A Best Friend

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You definitely need to have a set of best friends for life. These will be the friends I will check with first, when you don’t come home before curfew time. These will be the friends I will blackmail when I have to find out more about the person you are dating. These will be the friends who will think I am such a cool mom and will spill the beans over what has been up with your life recently. Yes, you need to have a couple of ‘best friends’ so my life is more sorted as a parent.

2. Then Again, True Friends Are Hard To Come By…You Will Need More Money

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For this, we must ensure that you quickly become a child prodigy of sorts. Because clearly any money we have now will go into our retirement fund that will sponsor all sorts of world travel adventures for us when we are 70 and feel like getting a life. So essentially, you need to sort your life out, get educated appropriately, be multi-skilled in sports and arts, and learn at least a dozen international languages.

3. Have Fun Doing The Things You Are Getting Blamed For

calvin, image 3If your friends are anything like mine, chances are you will find often find yourself alone at the scene of crime wondering what the hell happened here. Since, you will anyways be blamed for it, you might as well have some fun along the way.

4. Life Is Definitely Cooler When You Have Superpowers

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But always remember, with great power comes great responsibility. So, if you must time-travel, that is fine. Just be home by curfew time.

5. Grow A Fang When Your Baby Teeth Fall Out

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Wait, no. Not that. Being cute is a survival strategy for kids. Stick to that for some time till we get the hang of being parents.

6. You Will Always Have to Live With the Consequences of Your Choices

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Therefore, it will be in your best interest to not bug Mommy ever. You are going to need her help with mostly everything till you turn 12.

7. The Best Thing about having a kid is definitely the number of times we will get to say, “I told you so”

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Though with us, there is a greater chance that one of us will be your co-conspirator in crime about 95 percent of the time.

8. Drag Us Out Of the House

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There is so much work involved in raising a kid and living a life that we are going to want to pass out from exhaustion at the end of each day. But once in a while insist that we all go out and spend a day doing nothing. I have a feeling those will be the only times your daddy and I shall get to catch up with each other.

9. Don’t Be Content With Happiness. Demand Euphoria!

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I am still thinking that when you grow, how I will explain why you are the only 3 year old without a mobile phone and an iPad. There is still time. Maybe, I can make you believe that we got you from God in exchange for those devices.

10. Growing Up is Over-Rated

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You know how we keep saying since you were a month old that you are now old enough to make us breakfast? Well, the pleasure of feeding us apart, there is no real reason to want to grow up so soon. Stay a kid and stay cool for as long as you can. Of course, when you are sixteen, we also want you to move out and get a cool job.

11. And Finally, Come What May, Respect Your Parents

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In the coming years we are going to give you a hundred reasons everyday why you should be on your knees and thanking us for being your parents. But for now, let’s just say that we are the people who put food on your table and pay the gravity bill.

Images: http://michaelyingling.com/random/calvin_and_hobbes/