One of the hardest parts of the endeavour to get your ex back is finding out where to start. It does not matter if it’s your ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, wife or husband, it’s that first step that’s always the most difficult. The answer could be staring you in the face, but if you do not recognize what it is, and take the right first move, then you’ll never be successful at getting them back.

Some people do know the best way to get their ex back, but they do not use it. They are either too scared, too shy, or not willing to put in the time and effort that it’s going to take. Do not be one of those. Once you find the secret recipe for getting back your ex, you need to take action and put it to use. While there are good formulas, most of them expire after too long – if you want to do anything, you may lose them forever.

Lots of things happen when you go through a break-up. You suffer from a loss of appetite, a loss of interest in your work or hobbies. You sleep all day and have a lack of energy, sometimes not even getting out of bed. You feel depressed, and even your normal day to day conversations are lackluster and unfocused. This is all normal, and natural, and makes you the perfect person to try out the process. The hard part is knowing where to start.

Many people, when trying to find the best place to start, actually wind up choosing the worst ways. These ways not only do not help, but they wind up driving your ex further away and make sure that they never do come back. Here are some ways to not start the process:

Avoid: Calling him or her, several times a week or day, or late at night or early in the morning, and begging for another chance. This will not help you, and will probably annoy them.

Avoid: Any sense of desperation, begging, or groveling. Think of the person your ex-was originally attracted to in you, were you desperate at the time? Why do you think he’d come back if you are now?

Avoid: Promising to change yourself, when you know you won’t. Or worse, promising to change something about yourself that you will not be happy with. Do not make false promises to your ex or to yourself.

Avoid: Repeatedly apologizing for whatever went wrong in the relationship. If you did actually do something that caused the break-up, you should apologize for it, firmly, once. Repeated apologies only make things worse, not better.

Each of these is a mistake, that will drive your ex further away from you. You need to do the exact opposite of the above. This is useful for a couple of reasons. First, it’s the exact opposite of what they expect you to do, and second, the above does not work at all! Come up with a plan for how you are going to get them back and stick to it. You’ll be happy with the results.

The way to get started is to formulate your plan and eliminate negative thoughts from your mind. These do no one any good, and will probably hurt your chances. You have to first start by letting go and letting them find their way back. I know, it sounds scary, but it works much better than holding on too tightly.

Source by Boston Reynolds