Unfortunately the answer to the question, “Can this marriage be saved?” is never easy or simple. Some times, if you got married for the wrong reasons to begin with, or in cases of abuse the answer to the question is no, and that is a good thing.
Can this marriage be saved if they say they love you but are not in love with you?If your spouse has delivered the, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” message and has been avoiding any type of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused about what seems to have been a sudden change in feelings. You can take this comment as a game over kind of thing, or try to look deeper to see what the real issues are.
A wife might say they are not in love with you anymore as she tells you that the beer gut, scraggly beard, and long hair are a major turn-off. Not only do you have to be ready to commit yourself to getting back in shape, and shave each day, but you have to know that in itself may not help your marital problems go away. What was the reason for the weight gain to begin with? Maybe the wife was paying too much attention to the kids and not enough to you? Or her job or your schedules never seemed to work out right, or she always had a “headache.”
It is the process of figuring this all out, that will help peel away the layers and open the relationship back up for the love that was once there.
Can this marriage be saved if only one person wants to?
It is nice if a couple will agree to work on saving their marriage, but great strides can be made with one person doing the soul searching. What happens in this situation is one person takes a good look at the things they have done to harm the relationship and can work on finding solutions involve making changes to your own self and things you say and do.
This is where time and sometimes separation play an important role. These kinds of changes need to be natural and things that will help you as a person. Better understand yourself, get back in touch with who you are as a person and it will be easier to tackle a relationship. It might be you need to become less dependent, and more self-sufficient. It might mean learning to talk with I statements and not you, and it might mean learning to become a better active listener. When your spouse starts to notice some of these changes and it is easier to communicate, other things needed to repair the marriage can start to happen.
This sort of thing is what a legal separation is supposed to be about, time to explore and work on the marriage, but too many couples do not take advantage of this, they use it as a legal stepping stone to divorce. As you can see, Can this marriage be saved,? Is something that will take hard work and soul searching and some time.