“How can I save my marriage?” This question arises so often with friends talking casually or from a phone call to a best friend that they want to tell. While things may seem desperate, the answers could be very clear.
But life sometimes causes us not to find the answers for the crisis. It’s like the old saying: “You can’t see the forest for the trees”. This is exactly true for a marriage. Many times, we become so preoccupied with troubles that we don’t give ourselves the chance to sufficient search for the solution. We focus on the problem more than on getting solutions. Getting over what is going on means being able to shift focus on how to resolve it.
If we can focus on it enough to consider how much injury it is causing a marriage, then focusing on its resolution should get equivalent concentration. If there is a trouble in a marriage then nerve-racking about it isn’t going to secure it.
This is where communication comes in. Concentrating on the problem isn’t going to resolve it: neither is fighting over it or hiding hatred or fury.
Bringing it all out for both sides to observe, and talk about, is what needs to happen. And the earlier this happens, the better. The best way of action here is to make up a time when both spouses can connect in discussion without distractions: “without distractions” being the answer here. If this cannot be accomplished without interruptions or business middling in, then this is not the time. This is something that needs full concentration. If it is serious enough that one party feels their marriage is in danger then that should be enough to deserve pushing all other things to the side.
Once you have quiet, alone time, sit down and you begin talking. If only one person feels this is a concern then s/he will start and have plenty of time to bring out his/her concerns. Perhaps a time limit could be imposed so that both sides get equal chance to deal with the problem and to be able to save your marriage and prevent divorce.