The blame game is a game that can cause your relationship a ton of trouble. You know the game I am talking about. The one where you blame others for things that have no one to blame, or even blaming someone else for things when in reality things did not just go as you had planned.
In order to work through internal problems, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You will have to take a look at yourself on a very deep level. Take some time and see if you do some of the following. If you believe that you are never wrong or if you always look at the glass half empty and feel like you cannot make changes that will benefit you in the future. If you see apologizing as a sign of weakness or you believe that two wrongs make a right. If you see negative things in your life such as problems in your relationship, as things that are beyond your control, then these are all signs that you are not accepting responsibility for yourself.
The biggest step in accepting responsibility for your actions and taking responsibility for your actions is to stop blaming others. Accept responsibility for your feelings and the way you react to things. You are the only one who has any say about your feelings so begin to take responsibility for them. Everyone can only control one person, and you need to be sure that you realize that you can only control your own feelings and actions. The one thing that you now know that gives you an edge on everyone else is that you have the ability to control how you react to everything in your life and thus can control your emotions.
Know that there are always two sides to every story. When you are in an argument with your partner, take a second and take a step back. Take some time and look at your partner’s side of the argument. Be aware that you are at fault in arguments at times, but more importantly than who is at fault, work on finding a resolution to the argument and don’t get caught up in keeping score.
Make a point in your mind to know that you are the only person who can change the way you feel. People will do things that you will have to react to in one way or another, but you are in control of how you react. Give your mind credit for how powerful it is. You are not helpless so start taking control of your actions and responsibility. Come to the realization that you, and only you, have the ability to affect the way you feel. Take responsibility for that and come to the realization that no matter how you feel at any given moment, you have allowed yourself to feel that way.