I ‘Like’ Everything

In a world where your crush hardly likes you back, I give ‘likes’ away for free because I can

0
571

The number of likes one has on their social media post is directly proportional to the cool quotient of the individual. No, there’s no theory to back this up, but people live by this belief. It is somehow related to their happiness and makes them popular. For example, if Rahul from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was on social media, his post would automatically receive more likes than the guy standing behind him when they ragged Tina. Likes matter to me too, but more than the number of likes I get, I have recently discovered the sheer number of likes I give. I like everything! And by everything, I mean anything that is funny or at least makes sense.

I already suffer from mild Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); I want things to be aligned. It is okay if they are messy as long as they are aligned. To top this, I recently learnt that there is term for my compulsive need to like others’ posts, Obsessive Compulsive Liking Disorder (OCLD). And it is definitely not cool! It can be more tiring than you can imagine!

screenshot_20161207-13001901

Initially, I only liked pictures and status updates on Facebook. Then I entered the world of Instagram and found that I had a hidden passion for double-tapping pictures to see a heart emerge on the updates of the most random people on my list. This includes my padosi’s cousin, who uploads a picture of their garden every day. It has the same grass in it, but I have to ‘heart’ it everytime it comes on my feed. That’s when I realised and said to myself, “Kuch toh problem hai, bro.” And like I always do, I Googled my symptoms only to find out about OCLD.

Such a fancy term for something so basic? Turns out, it is not as basic as I thought. If it was, I’d be getting multiple likes from other people too. Not all my friends like my posts even if I like theirs on a daily basis. Okay, they acknowledge those likes and return them once a while, but the love is not equal. We’re just not on the same page. I have my ex-boyfriend to say that to me; I don’t need my peeps on the Internet to say the same.

Like any other 23-year-old, the first thing I do after opening my eyes in the morning is check my phone. I should be exercising, but the only part of my body that gets any form of exercise is the thumb as I use it to scroll down and like the memes that people have uploaded in my absence from the Internet. The Internet is all about memes, anyway. There is no topic that is sensitive enough to escape the attention of memes lords.

screenshot_20161207-13001901

I should have realised that this is a problem when I went to someone’s profile only to like a post that I had somehow missed,  Or when I started liking memes that I have already laughed at. Or even when I started liking the posts on others’ profiles only because someone I know was tagged in them. But I was ignorant. The result was that when my friends introduce me to their friends, their friends  already know of my existence because of my existence in their notifications. But that’s nice, right? There’s no breaking the ice or awkward first conversations. They know that I have liked their posts; I know that their sibling just got married and left for their honeymoon a few days ago.

Things get difficult when I’m in a no-network zone and my feed is updated but I’m unable to like what I see. It’s a real task to go back to the same feed and find the exact post that I thought was  worth liking. And it’s not like I can let them go without a like either.

This situation is the worst when I see someone else’s account open and start scrolling through their feed and like the posts that I come across. I do this subconsciously, of course, but the guy whose account I used now does not leave his phone unattended. I guess that’s good for the both of us.

screenshot_20161207-13005601

You’d think I would go to a doctor and get myself diagnosed, but my mother shut me up when I told her to give me some money for this. People don’t realise that it’s important to deal with this issue. What if I end up liking my ex’s girlfriend’s profile picture because of my OCLD?! Nobody cares about that!

I should probably find a decent amount of spare time for the greater good and start exercising the other parts of my body so that they to match up to my thumb. But I know myself; I’m going to keep liking and spreading the love, even if I don’t receive it. I still don’t know the reason for my need to ‘like’ things, but if someone dares me to go without double tapping on Instagram or liking on Facebook, I’ll probably lose my mind.

If Ranbir Kapoor can be involved in a one-sided love affair in Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, I can too. I’ll give all my likes, and expect nothing in return.