The Absolute Weirdest Rumours People Have Heard About Themselves in School

These rumours deserve an award for their creativity

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Representational Image/Pixabay

Kids can be very creative when it comes to spreading rumours in school. From hooking random people up and spreading absurd stories, here are the weirdest rumours Redditors have heard about themselves in school.

1. Kids Are Stupid

My physics teacher got me pregnant three times in six months’ time. [lydocia]

2. He’s Alive

A rumour spread that I had died in a car wreck. This happened while I was visible and in school. I would show up to classes and people would jump with joy realizing that it had been a lie.

My friends were a**holes. [FREEBA]

3. What a Perv!

“He mows the lawn naked.”

Um, gym shorts and a tank top is not naked. [BoofahKingWho]

4. Come On, Kids!

Not high school–elementary school. A rumour was going around that I had been having sex with my date for the 5th-grade dance in our school pool:

We were ten years old.
Our school didn’t have a pool. [vasnormandee]

5. Extra Precaution 

That I wore bicycle helmets when I drove my car. [BlurryFacePilot]

6. The Sheer Frustration!

That I was so frustrated that my girlfriend wouldn’t have sex with me that I sucked my own d**k.

I’m not a flexible guy so all this did was imply that I’m packing. Thanks, dudes. [straight-garbage]

7. They Didn’t Like Me So They Made Me Rich

In middle school, this one girl had a birthday party on a boat and invited pretty much every girl. I wasn’t invited but I didn’t care since we didn’t know each other. Some girls who didn’t like me decided to invent the rumour that I was having a birthday party on my yacht the same day as the other girl had hers.

I still don’t quite understand the reason for this rumour. My birthday wasn’t anytime soon, I certainly didn’t own a yacht…all they did was make me sound rich. [WooopsieDaisy]

8. They Thought I Killed My Mum

My mum had a seizure when I was at dinner with her after school. Her first ever, it was very traumatizing etc.

Anyway, I went to a Catholic school, so in the morning, they made an announcement about remembering my mum in their prayers (this was standard policy when family members of students were sick, injured or died.)

Somehow, a couple of girls interpreted this as my mum had died. They were really shocked that I was in school at all. So first I had to clear that up.

Then, some f***ing freshman girls decided that the actual truth was that I had killed my mother. They told a teacher they didn’t feel comfortable around a murderer. The teacher told them they were too dumb to exist and told me about it later in the day.

So craziest rumour I heard specifically about myself was that the freshmen thought I had killed my mum. [SalemScout]

9. Prized Ham?

I’m male and there was a rumour going around school that I had masturbated in a shower with the water on ridiculously hot, then just before climaxing I apparently flipped the water to ice cold. I then passed out and was found by my dad lying in the shower covered in my own splooge, completely starkers. He then apparently carried me to my bed and placed me there like some sort of prized ham. I’m not even sure how 15/16-year-old kids imagine up that kind of thing. I actually found it hilarious when I found out some years later..[campsy88]

10. It Was Just Messing Around!

Someone started a rumour that me and my friend were gay for each other, and when there was an Instagram video of us Messing around and LIGHTLY punching each other, the PTA had to ask if we were in an abusive relationship. It was very weird to explain that we were not, in fact, gay, and they didn’t believe us until we said it like twice, they kept saying, “you don’t have to hide it” and we were like what the f**k. [CadeTheHuman]