The Weirdest Punishments Kids Have Been Handed

Parents take note – these punishments actually work!

0
496

As kids, we’ve all been subjected to punishments from our parents. Most punishments include being grounded, our toys or privileges such as TV time being taken away and the occasional whack on our bottoms. Some parents resort to unique punishments to fit the occasion or to teach their children a lesson in a way only they can. Redditors list out the weirdest punishments they have been handed down.

1. No Petting

When I was 12, I had two cats and an English Mastiff. Anyways, one week I didn’t practice the piano as much as I was supposed to, so I was grounded from petting or hugging both the English Mastiff and any of the cats. My mom actually followed me around to make sure I didn’t. I still had to take care of them though… [thegiantcat1]

2. You Can’t Fool Your Parents

My brother and I got in trouble for not cleaning our room. It was pretty standard for my parents to take away our Nintendo or Playstation when we were in trouble but I found this particular one pretty clever.

My dad told us we could have the games back when we cleaned the rooms for real and didn’t shove everything under our beds. We of course shoved everything under the beds and ran to my dad saying “It’s all clean, can we have the Nintendo back?”

His reply was, “If you did what I told you, you’d already have it back.” It was hidden under one of our beds the whole time. [20kgRhesus]

3. Who Dares Wins

Not that odd of a punishment, but I still laugh everytime I tell this story.

My older brother and my mom were having a yelling match one day. My brother made the terrible mistake of calling mom a bitch. This was the biggest no-no word for our family. As soon as he said it the whole room went silent for a moment as my mom stood there in shock. Then the yelling started again. Mom screaming at my brother that she was going to wash his mouth out with soap. So she gets the soap and is about to shove it in my brothers mouth… my brother, still angry as all hell, grabs the bar of soap and takes a huge bite out of it. He chewed and swallowed, then walked away leaving my mother speechless.

My brother won that fight. [retrospect26]

4. Justice

My evil older sister made me a proposition my 6-year-old brain couldn’t resist. She said, “Smell my butt for a quarter?” I said okay, took a whiff, and of course, she ripped a big fart in my face. I ran to my dad, wailing, “Joan said smell my butt for a quarter, I did, and she farted in my faaaaace!”

Dad marches to Joan …

“Did you tell him to smell your butt for a quarter?”

“Yes.”

“Did he smell your butt?”

“Yes.”

“PAY HIM THE QUARTER!”

I felt justice was served. [jimmyjazz2000]

5. The Scary Itch

When I was 6, my grandpa got annoyed at me for doing something (I don’t remember what), so he threatened to put corn starch down my underpants to give me any itchy buttcrack for the rest of the day. What ever it was I was doing, I stopped immediately. [realjeffmangum]

6. Dad Singing

During my teen years, if my brother or I did something wrong, my dad would take our iPods, play our favourite songs, and force us to listen as he loudly whistled to him and slapped his thighs to the beat. It was torture. [EmbarrassedZebra]

7. You Don’t Mess With the Boss

I was terrible about leaving dishes in the sink when my parents wanted them rinsed and put into the dish washer. In hind sight a reasonable request but 16-year-old me thought I was living under a fascist regime. One day my mom took me to a local nursing home in an affluent part of town and had arranged for me to polish every single piece of silver for every single person in that nursing home that wanted me to polish their silver. The silver had to be polished to their specifications. It took me 5 straight days working several hours a day. I keep a clean kitchen and a clean apartment now. [HillTopEconomist]

8. The Punishment of Knowledge

I got the belt on rare occasions when it was serious (like when I set fire to the garage), but the default was the Britannica.

We had a full set of Encyclopedia Britannica, and as a punishment, instead of being grounded for a specific period of time, I was tasked with reading a volume of the Encyclopedia. When finished, or at any time I deemed I was ready, my father would randomly select 10 pages and query me on something on the page. If I got 8 correct, I was freed/released from whatever restriction I was placed under. If I got less than 5 correct, I was assigned another volume and then had 20 questions from the 2.

Needless to say, I am a walking repository of truly random information. [HippyGeek]

9. Ouch!

A friend of mine had “time out” which meant face the corner of 2 walls, while kneeling on uncooked rice so it digs into your knees.

Seems sadistic. [T3HR4G3]

10. Law-Abiding Dad

I came home drunk as a teenager and my dad took me to the police station to have them keep me overnight. [Maxwell_Planck]

11. How to Teach Kids Self-Control

Not necessarily strange, but brilliant. Sitting in a “time-out” chair facing the corner, they would start a kitchen timer for 15 minutes and put it behind me, facing me. If I turned and looked at the timer, they would add 10 minutes. It was agony but I do believe it inculcated a sense of self-control in me. [lacroixisverygood]

12. How to Make Your Kids Go to Sleep

I’m not sure if this counts as a punishment.

I was 14ish years old, and supposed to be in bed sleeping. I decided I was bored and didn’t feel like sleeping so I went downstairs and told my dad, “Dad, I’m bored, I can’t sleep.” So he told me “pull out a chair.” I did. Then “stand on the chair.” I did. then “touch the ceiling.” I did… then he went back to reading his book and ignored me. I was confused and probably stood there for a solid minute before I finally mustered up the nerve to ask him why I was standing on a chair touching the ceiling. He told me that I could continue doing that, or I could go back to bed.

I went back to bed. [chalks777]

13. Don’t Ever Bluff Your Parents

I didn’t want to eat my green beans, so my father said I either eat them or wear them. I called his bluff.

Not a bluff.

With a Ziploc baggy and some twine, I wore those green beans the rest of the night around my neck. They still laugh at that one. [TheShrinkingGiant]

14. Be Nice

It’s only strange to the person being pusnished… If I slammed a door as a kid, I was to “open and close it 20 times, nicely.” It actually worked pretty well as I hated looking like an idiot. [mukkalukka22]

15. How to Stop Your Kids from Lying

One time I lied to my mom about something really dumb and obvious. I was 9 or so at the time.

After she scolded me, she called me into the kitchen to “apologise” and tell me all was forgiven and I should have some ice cream. I immediately said Yes! I would love some! So she scooped out a huge bowl.

She then asked if I would like some sugar added to the top. And of course as a kid I thought more sugar would only make it more satisfying. So she added it.

She gave me the bowl and I took a bite into the most sugar-covered spoonful I could get. Turns out, it wasn’t sugar. It was salt.

Then she said “See how lying hurts people?”

My tiny trust was forever broken. It did teach me a lesson though. [xsp4rrow]