This Isn’t What it Looks Like, We Swear

0
946

You’re a guy and you’re watching Game of Thrones, (for the convoluted plot obviously) when your mother walks in and sees 2 guys getting it on. She backs off and goes away. A few minutes later she returns and sees another gay sex scene and looks at you suspiciously or/and yells at you. Now, you know what this looks like, but to her it looks like you are watching some weird medieval X-rated film. These embarrassing, totally not-your-fault situations happen more often then we’d like them to and can be quite hilarious as well. Redditors describe their This Isn’t What It Looks Like stories.


1. “Is That ALL You Watch”?

While deployed to Iraq, we watched anything we had never seen before on DVD in the barracks. Getting a television show, with multiple seasons, was a massive score. My room mate and I were watching HBO’s “OZ”, when our Battalion Medical Officer (my room mate was a medic) came by and stuck his head on the door in time to witness a visually graphic, man-on-man, rape scene. He just looked at the tv for a moment, and said he’d be back.

Later that afternoon, he came by again with our Company Commander, right as we were in the middle of another visually graphic, man-on-man, rape scene. My commander just asked “is that ALL you watch”?

We were both looked at very weird for the next few days. [dmlemco]


2. The Bird Terrorist

I’m currently doing research on birds in Belgium. A part of my project is to disturb the birds at night and record their reaction. So, me and a few fellow students go into the forest at night, carrying a ladder and some strange electronic equipment beneath our coats with a lot of wires coming out. This was only a few days after the terrorist attack on the airport. When we got back at the University, our supervisor mentions that several people noticed us and called the police. [Snakie113]


3. The Gay Parade

Went to Disneyland with my father.

Met in the parking lot and laughed that we both wore the same red-pink colored shirt.

Turns out it was Disney GayDays and that’s the event’s color, everyone was wearing it.

People kept double taking us, the 21yo and 62yo in a gay relationship. [DigNitty]


4. Naked Dudes

Slept over at a friends house and we stayed up late to watch boobs on TV. His mom walks in so he quickly changes the channel. We look at her, she looks very shocked, I look back at the TV and there’s naked dudes everywhere. [popcansodawater]


5. The Naughty Belt

I was at a pretty crowded bar and had just come back from getting drinks for me and my girlfriend. It was pretty packed, so I was turning sideways to slink through, and all of a sudden I feel something tugging at – my crotch.

I look down simultaneously as a girl screams a bit and we both realize that somehow my belt had caught on her loosely-hanging sweater and I was dragging her with me as I walked.

Both of my hands were full of drinks, so I couldn’t be the one to untangle us. I shrugged at her and apologized for the situation while she leaned over and started fiddling around with my belt buckle to try and free herself.

Just then, her boyfriend returned. That was pretty hard to explain. [pacocase]


6. So Not Getting Head

When I was in highschool I was driving around with a girl I liked who had just gone through an emotional trauma. She was crying onto my lap/stomach when I drove past my friends who all thought I was getting head. [CrypticaScriptura]


7. Where the Hell is it?

In high school, I went to use the restroom at a urinal, but I was having issues accessing the zipper (got caught in that little space at the bottom of zipper where it meets the jeans). I was frustrated and said out loud, “Where the hell is it??” – suddenly I realized I wasn’t alone in the restroom and a group of 3-4 classmates started laughing and thought I couldn’t find my c**k..[absolutfreon]


8. The Lonely Hero

In high school, a friend and I walked into the bathroom while another friend waited in the hall. I’m using the urinal when I hear a grunt behind me. I look back, and there’s an overweight autistic kid trying to crawl out from under a bathroom stall.

I’m assuming the door was jammed and the poor guy panicked. The issue is, he was WAY too big to fit under the door. The door was wedged between 2 stomach rolls and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Being the upstanding citizen I am, I grab this guy’s (urine soaked) hands and start pulling. When that doesn’t work, I swing the door open (sliding him across the floor in the process) and begin to slide him out sideways. After a few minutes of grunting, effort, and determination he’s finally free.

Well, just as I’m making the final pull towards freedom, my friend walks in to see what the hell is taking us so long. All he sees is me dragging some obese, autistic, piss-soaked kid across the bathroom floor. He nope’d the f**k out of there immediately. Once I thoroughly cleaned myself in the sink, I caught up with him.

Apparently, he thought I had beat up an autistic kid for some reason and so decided to get the f*ck out of there. Oh yea, that other friend who came into the bathroom with me? He had spent the whole time in the corner laughing uncontrollably about how ridiculous the situation was, unable to help me. [shade1214341]


9. The Mistaken Pervert 

I was walking down a back street in suburbia smoking a cig. I heard kids playing in a yard.

“You jump!”

“No, you jump first then I will!”

Alright, it sounds like something entertaining is about to happen, so I peak into the yard to watch these kids hurt themselves. It’s two pre-teens sitting on top of maybe a 5 foot tall playhouse, ready to jump. It’s just high enough that they’ll probably cry when they hit the ground so my expectations are high. Meanwhile I’m an adult male peering through the bushes, smoking a cigarette, with my hood up… watching kids play. One of them of spots me and starts yelling “mommy there’s a stranger watching us!”

I panic and take off. The mom calls the cops, and within minutes the whole neighborhood is up in arms searching for this pervert with 2 squad cars for backup. One of the mothers gets on the Megan’s Law page and it turns out there’s a registered sex offender living a few blocks away that nobody knew about. Suddenly everybody remembers seeing this guy lurking here and there and blah blah witch hunt. They blamed him and eventually got him evicted. I would’ve felt bad but he rented a house right in front of a school bus stop and apparently that was a no-no so fuck that guy anyway. Also I didn’t want to tell my family I was smoking, even though I was like 20 at the time. iltl32]

 

Image Source: 1