Yet another couple is separating after many years spent together. They’ve got children and everything seemed so rosy. So why are they separating? Because during most of their married life the husband had been living a double life. He had a long-running affair and in some cases even fathered a child with his mistress.
Does this sound familiar to you? Up and down the country many couples are facing a similar situation, perhaps not to the same extent, but nonetheless numerous women are facing the trauma of their spouse long-term infidelity.
So the question is: “can a marriage survive such a crushing blow? ”
My answer is…YES.
The truth of the matter is that the majority of long-term relationships are extremely complex and in fact don’t conform at all to our idealized “rose-tinted” view of a perfect relationship.
Adultery frequently occurs when something is profoundly wrong in a relationship and neither spouse will admit to it. In healthy marriages, people do not cheat. In fact, infidelity is often a warning sign of a crisis, not the cause. An extra-marital relationship which is suddenly revealed and the ensuing secrets coming out in the open might actually force a husband and wife to become more honest towards each other. This, in turn, can make their marriage stronger as a result.
Of course, this will require a tremendous amount of work from both spouses, but it can be achieved if the couple finds out a way of working towards staying together as well as finding a constructive and positive path to make sure that their current problems do not adversely affect their children who after all are innocent in all this.
To make it through this difficult period they will need to focus on their shared goals and affection which are still prevalent.
After many years spent together, they will still have shared goals and affection that they need to focus on in order to make it through this difficult period.
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