It is the sole purpose of an Indian parent to get their children married, come what may. They will force you, blackmail you and even bribe you into getting married. They will convince you that marriage is the answer to all of life’s problems. Here are 10 things Indian parents believe marriage can cure.
Mom, I am gay. Parents: Beta, shaadi karlo, sab theek ho jaayega. Whether you are in the closet or not, parents believe getting married will help you bat for a different team again, if you get the drift 😉
2. Money Problems
Dad, I don’t make enough money. Parents: Shaadi karlo. Ghar mein laxmi aayegi. Sab theek ho jaayega. Yup ‘coz supporting another person doesn’t really cost that much.
Mom and Dad, I am addicted to drugs and alcohol. Parents: Shaadi kar lo, boori aadat choot jaayegi. Yup, it will just make us forget we were addicted.
4. Excessive Partying
I like to party! I’m not gonna settle down. Parents: Shaadi kar lo. Party bandh ho jaayegi. And what if we find a similar spouse huh? Didn’t think of that, did you?
I am asexual. Parents: Shaadi kar lo. Sex ho jaayega. Yes it’s just that easy. The much-hyped wedding night can turn anyone into a sex machine.
6. Remaining Childless
I don’t want to have kids. Parents: Shaadi kar lo. You will want kids automatically. Yes, marriage will make us want to hear the pitter-patter of feet for the next 18 years. Because we should have kids because our parents said so.
I am divorced and done with marriage. Parents: Second time is lucky beta. The ink is just dry on the divorce papers and your parents are already looking for someone. It’s best you sign up for some therapy.
Dad, I’m hopeless and irresponsible. Parents: Shaadi kar lo. You will become more responsible. Because giving an irresponsible person more responsibilty is the cure.
Mom, I just broke up with my longtime boyfriend/ girlfriend. Parents: Shaadi kar le. Bhool jaa use. Rebound relationships are the best!
10. The Blues
Mom, I’m not in a good place right now. Parents: Shaadi kar lo. Khushiyaan milegi. Because it is always a good idea to make an important life-changing decision when you are not in the right frame of mind.