Bollywood has its fair share of nonsensical songs over the years. Judwaa’s ‘Tan Tana Tan Tan Tan Taara’ to Coolie No. 1’s ‘Meri Marzi’ have made people dance, sing and laugh at the same time. But those songs actually made sense. We can’t really say the same about these:
1. ‘Exercise’ (Prem Aggan, 1998)
We can’t choose what’s worse about this song – the lyrics or the dancing. All we can say is that there is also some weird ‘musical’ heavy breathing.
’Dum lagaake move it, zor lagaake do it!’
2. ‘Hello madam I am your Adam’ (Shaadi no. 1, 2005)
The only logical reason behind the title of this song is ‘Adam’ rhymes with ‘Madam’. Of course, we may be wrong but the video opens with girls emerging from apples. So, it is possible that there is some hidden biblical theme we are missing.
If you look at the comments below the video, people have actually praised the song.
3. ‘Su Su Su aa gaya main kya karu’ (Tarazu, 1997)
If you have never heard of this song, you should be thankful. I saw it on cable television once and I still wish I hadn’t. It’s so bad that it’s not even played on music channels. The song has kids grabbing their crotch and pulling down their pants while singing ‘Su Su Su aa gaya main kya karu‘. We presume that Akshay Kumar, the protagonist, did not let them pee when they wanted to, so they take revenge and don’t let him pee for the remainder of the song.
4. ‘Doodh ban jaaungi, malai ban jaaungi’ (Sarhad, 1995)
For some reason, this song was played a lot on cable TV during the mid 90s. Nobody believed me when I would tell them about this song. Thanks to YouTube, I now have proof! ’Macchi ban jaaungi, kebab ban jaaungi. Botlo me daalke sharaab ban jaaungi’ –it can’t get any better than this.
5. ‘You are my chicken fry’ (Rock Dancer, 1995)
“You are my chicken fry, you are my fish fry kabhi na kahiye kudiye bye bye” This is pretty easy to explain: it’s about two very hungry lovers. I have seen Bappida perform it live. I even went and got a fish fry after that. Thanks Bappi, for building up my appetite that day.
6. ‘Mere kurte main lag jaa button banke’ (All Rounder, 1984)
This song has the girl chasing the guy for once. Apart from the title, this is your standard 80s Bollywood song. There is also a song from ‘Kya Supercool Hai Hum’, ‘Shirt da button’, which takes this concept even further.
7. ‘Batata wada’ (Hifazat, 1987)
“Batata vada hey batata vada
dil nahi dena tha dena pada”
Can you believe this song was composed by musical legend R D Burman, written by notable Bollywood lyricist Anand Bakshi, and sung by S P Balasubramaniam and Asha Bhosle? No? Neither can we. It seems even talent isn’t immune to a rumbling stomach.
8. ‘Soan Papdi’ (Aunty No. 1, 1998)
You can’t have a song on silly Bollywood songs without a Govinda-Raveena Tandon number! With lyrics like, ‘Soan papdi meri soan papdi. Pyaar kaa mithaa svaad chakhaa de soch rahi kyaa khadi’, it makes you wonder– wouldn’t ‘Kaju Katri’ be more apt?