Bizarre Things People Have Done to Avoid Getting a Ticket

From pissing themselves to impersonating a priest— these Redditors will do anything

For the purposes of representation only

Some guys will do just about anything to avoid getting a ticket. Cops and civilians on Reddit list out the most bizarre things they’ve witnessed people do to solely avoid getting a citation.

1. Save Me from My Wife

Coworker of mine was speeding one day on a south bound highway. Told the cop “hey man, I know you got to give me a ticket, but please write out for north bound, or else my wife will think I’m cheating on her.” The cop laughed and told him to slow down and let him off.

He was not married, nor was he even seeing anybody. [captainawesomevcu]

2. Racism

Someone I knew was trying to get out of drinking and driving, she went up to the cop and was like ‘listen, we’re all white here…’ needless to say she went to jail. [Caroline_ondine]

3. Faking It

Not a cop, but I’ve seen many of my ex’s ways on avoiding tickets and she has avoided many tickets. Her best escape was by faking being mute and fortunately, she knows sign language. Most cops would feel bad ticketing her so they just let her go, while I feel bad for those cops. [ngad22]

4. I Have to Go Potty!

I once got caught speeding and told the cop how embarrassing it was but I REALLY had to go #2 (which was true). He took my info and said with a little smile “you can go, you’ll receive the ticket by mail”. It has been 6 months now and still nothing. Did he gracefully change his mind? [YoFavYellowGuy]

5. Dad Pretended to be a Catholic Priest

My father once got out of a ticket by pretending to be a Catholic priest. He is not Catholic but uses some of the same liturgical dress and is easily mistaken for a priest when wearing a clerical shirt and collar. When he was pulled over for speeding, he made sure the cop saw his collar and his cane. The cop didn’t want to give a ticket to a sick priest and just let him go on without a warning. My father replied with “Bless you, my son” and went on his merry way. [Jades_rainbow]

6. What Could He Do?

One gave me a ‘get out of jail’ monopoly card. let him off with a warning. What else could I do? He had the card! [GaryNOVA]

7. Magic!

Not a cop, but a friend was once stopped for a broken headlight. In my country there’s a fine for that. He didn’t know what to do so he got out of his car (no paranoid police here) and told the officer that the light “does that sometimes” and kicked it. It actually fucking worked, the light turned back on and he was off his way. [-The_Blazer-]

8. Humour to the Rescue!

My friend had a theory that if you could make a cop laugh, you can get out of a ticket. I’d watched him do this on three occasions. Once, he was actually going forty miles over the posted limit ( a felony ) and he told the cop that he was trying to get tampons to his girlfriend who was cheering at our high school football away game. (That was the actual truth).

She clocked him going 95 in a 55. Let him off with a warning after some easy chat and a few laughs.

The best, though, was when he got pulled over for having a busted turn signal. He handed the cop his license and asked, “Do you think I look better now or when I took that picture?”

The cop looked up and hesitated like he actually thought about it. We all laughed and the cop went back to his car.

He walked back with his hand on his gun and said, “Do you realize there’s a warrant out for your arrest?”

Stunned silence.

“Step out of the vehicle.”

He un buttons his holster.

“I’m just f*cking with you man. You f*ck with me and I’m gonna f*ck with you.”

My friend claimed he wasn’t scared but that’s complete bullsh*t. We all laughed. Cop let us go with a warning. [Penandink52]

9. Officer, I Have Proof!

Former Highway Patrol Officer. More than anything, I’ve had people say they are in a hurry to get to the bathroom. On more than one occasion, they’ve even gone as far as to piss themselves in hopes to avoid a ticket. [wisdom839]

10. Back To The Future References Don’t Work

Not a cop, but someone I know got pulled over doing about 80 in a 50, and when the officer approached his window and asked “why were you driving so fast?” This person’s response was “Sorry officer, I was trying to get my Flux capacitor up to speed”.

The cop didn’t find it very funny. [SPACExCASE]

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