We women are very good at making ourselves desirable in the beginning of a relationship but really bad at keeping the attraction after the initial “oh-wow!” wears off and the man you’ve been dating for weeks or months starts to lose interest. How do you make sure that doesn’t happen with your new catch?
Before I get to that, let’s be clear on why most men lose interest in a woman after only a few dates. There are several different reasons for each man and woman (intellectual, emotional, financial, sexual, spiritual, social etc.) but it all comes down to ONE thing and that is, his PERCEPTION of what it’ll be like if he continued to date you.
So how to you make sure his perception of you continues to make him want to date you? How do you keep him interested in you? How do you make him want you more than any other woman? How do you make him stay faithful to you?
The most common advice out there is that to make him desire you more, don’t call him or pretend to be busy or dangle sex in front of him but withhold it when he comes for it. The problem with this kind of advice is that you can’t create a relationship that is going to have enough depth by maneuvering people around their better judgment. There is eventually a negative backlash and you may find out that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on a man’ who is not worth it or one who is simply not into you!
There is nothing wrong with “playing hard to get” if it means creating enough mystery and sexual tension that makes a man feel good about himself, his initial perception of you and his feelings about the future of the relationship.
Let me explain a little bit about “sexual tension” in this particular regard. The extremely distorted misconception in our society is that the “sexual” is only limited to sex and therefore the mention of “sexual tension” immediately conjures images of actions and behaviours immediately leading to sexual intercourse- bathing and applying fragrance, putting on your sexiest clothes, rubbing his feet or nibbling his ear, or giving him any other nonverbal signals that suggest that you want and are ready for sexual intercourse. These actions and behaviours may and can get you “sex” but they do not necessarily make a man sexually attracted to you.
Regardless of terminology and explanations, sexual attraction is distinct from, but always includes physical characteristics (physical state of the body and body-language fluency), mental characteristics (thought process, beliefs and attitudes), emotional characteristics (moods and attachment patterns), social characteristics (interpersonal skills and ability to get along) and spiritual characteristics (sense of self and connection to the a higher power). It is in that sense holistic in nature and sometimes a complex situation.
Your man — like most men — was initially drawn to an intimate relationship with you (more than friends) because he perceived you to be sexually attractive. He may have liked “other” things about you but the sexual attraction provided that extra oomph that moved him to take the necessary steps to pursue you. Sexual attraction is a kind of a regenerating energy that makes men (and women) quiver with sensation and anticipation (pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach, sweating palms, weak knees, euphoria and so forth). Alone, it can not evolve into a lasting relationship but without it, the relationship lacks fire and passion for sustaining the relationship in a fulfilling way.
If you want to keep your man interested in you and make him want you more than any other woman you must not only make sure that his initial perception of you remains but that it is confirmed again and again. Even better, make sure that it exceeds his initial perception and keep making it better by the minute.
To be able to do that you have to be very clear on what his own very SEXUAL IMPRINT is. Each man is unique and has a particular combination of things (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, etc. that make his inner clock tick. That is what you have to figure out and work with. No flirting skills or seduction techniques or even silly dating rules will work if you are missing what TRULY appeals to his very OWN SEXUAL IMPRINT.
The biggest mistake men and women make is assume that one size fits-all and all men are attracted to the SAME women’s features. I’ve seen women so pre-occupied with their busts: lifting them, thrusting them forward and pulling the neckline down and all the while the man she is with is checking out the woman in a mini-skirt standing over there and she’s not even looking his direction. I’ve also met women who are really angry because they spent thousands of dollars trying lose weight and be more attractive to their guys only for them to find out that their men are cheating on them with women nowhere as skinny or the men leave the relationship to pursue the “not skinny” woman. Knowing what his natural inclinations are allows you to focus specifically on accentuating and emphasizing particular physical aspects for the greatest appeal.
Mental stimulation has very little to do how high you score on an IQ test or how many academic degrees you have. It is possible for a man or woman to be fantastically “brainy” and not be someone you can have a stimulating “intellectual” conversation with. Another word for that is boring. To be intellectually attractive to your man you must not only become somewhat knowledgeable and be able to follow him with curiosity, interest, and intelligence into the world that he finds interesting and mentally stimulating but also capable of leading him into your own world in an interesting and stimulating way. This intellectual and mutual exchange of worlds ensures an easy and continual flow of mental attraction back and forth.
The field of emotional attraction is still relatively new and many of us in modern societies are just beginning to learn the healthiest ways of dealing with emotions. However, that doesn’t change the fact that our human psyche has been pre-programmed to be uniquely sensitive to the intensity, smoothness, regularity, and rhythm of human emotions, and whether we gain or lose energy from being around a particular person. It is not possible to scientifically measure how much energy we gain or lose from being around a particular person, but for whatever reason, some people are easy to be around and some aren’t. By taking time to really zero on the common “mood of life” that the two of you share, you are more likely to be able to make him feel that you are special and believe with great certainty that you bring enjoyment, excitement, arousal, intimacy, nurturance, or some reward related to personal expansion into his life.
This is probably the most neglected aspect of sexual attraction. Spirituality and sexuality are inseparable and meant to go together. When spirituality is ignored, sexuality is suppressed, unhealthy and perverted and when sexuality is denied, spirituality is misused, damaging and confining. But when spirituality and sexuality are nurtured as inseparable, we experience “heaven on earth. Integrating spirituality and sexuality into your sense of self makes you more relaxed – free spirited, open minded, present within the now moment, connected with your environment – a state which allows sexual energy to flow through your mind and body creating an intense “aura” of effortless sex appeal. You don’t even have to learn any techniques on flirting or seduction because everything you do is so damn sexy without you even intending to make it sexy.
With a little more understanding of how SEXUAL IMPRINTS operate (there is more) and more practice using them, you can make a man desire and crave you so much that he’s stuck on you – after all, you’re basically the only woman who has his “number” and can punch it anywhere anytime.
There is nothing you can do to make a man “love you”, he has to come to that place on his own, but you can certainly make him feel good about his initial perception of you and what it’ll be like if he continued to date you. The more “positive” he feels, the faster he moves towards that place of “love”.