How Much is Too Much? Giving Your Ex the Space to Realize You Really Are the One!


OK. You’ve heard the same advice over and over. Give him room. Give him space to realize you really are the one. But how much space is to much? And how much time should you allow before making that first ‘can’t we get back together’ phone call?

To say the least there are no direct answers to these questions. Time and space allow both you and your ex time to assess the relationship. This time of introspection also provides you the opportunity to decide your true wants and needs from the relationship. Distance allows you (and him) the ability to be objective about the likes and dislikes of the relationship.

This time apart can also demonstrate to him that you really are not the ‘clingy wall flower’ he may have thought you to have been. He may even be surprised to learn (and you as well) that life really can and does, go on without him. You each may each discover that time apart, is a gift rather than a burden. And he may well truly appreciate your effort to allow him the time and the space to decide how your relationship can move forward.

The point is, that you may both find (surprisingly) that time apart has made you each, appreciate one another all the more. He may well discover he can (and does) appreciate this independent side of you. This sudden interest you have show to allow him to decide for himself what is best for you and he. Suddenly, it as if, you have moved from a bitter, disappointing break-up toward a mutual understanding and respect for the relationship to grow and mature.

Your absence from his life may well prompt his early (and eager) return. In your absence, he may discover that you are the part of his life he simply cannot (and will never again) do without! Providing space allows him to remember what his life was like before you. Providing space allows you the time to decide if this split is your better course of action. By not ‘giving in’ to that very real desire, to call, to cling to him until the very last, you can begin to build the bridge that may allow the two of you to come back together for all space and time.

Source by Ilona Benes