Life seems so much easier for confident people. They get what they want, people listen to them, and they never seem to break in to a sweat in tricky situations. Confident people of Reddit tell us how to look, act and seem more self-assured, and point out mistakes nervous people may be making.
1. Roll with It
If you make a mistake, just a roll with it; don’t let it stop you and don’t let anyone see you sweat. [Nizpee]
2. Don’t Retreat
Thinking people don’t want to hear what they have to say in a conversation.
They get all nervous and tail off mid sentence with the smiling friends listening to their story or something and is super awkward, forcing that nervous person back into their shell. [loanroller]
3. The Spotlight Is Not on You
Spotlight effect: One thinks that all eyes are on them. In reality few if any people are watching you and no one really gives a shit.
You’re nervous because you think others are watching. I’m not because I know better. [glutenfree_water]
4. Not Acting Serious
Not taking your preferences or views seriously in a conversation.
Group conversations can sense weakness and if you act like your opinion doesn’t matter, then you won’t be listened to. [epher95]
5. Always Agreeing
And I don’t mean when you agree, I mean always.
A “I love taco.”
B “Yeah they’re delicious!”
C “Nah, I don’t like the spiciness”
B “Yeah, not the spicy ones. Mild is better.”
A “I love jalapeno!”
B “Me too!”
Mr B, make up your mind. If you don’t have strong opinions, then express that you don’t mind either way. Don’t automatically agree. [Babykej ]
6. The Constant Apologizing
Listen to your Elton John: sorry should be the hardest word! [laterdude]
7. Not Accepting Compliments
Rejecting compliments if you don’t agree with them.
There’s so many times I have been told that I am pretty or someone has told me my personality is awesome and would argue with them on why I was not and then it seemed like they completely regretted complimenting me. When I was insecure, I would only accept the compliments I agreed with since I didn’t see the other ones as true.
Compliments are not meant to reaffirm what you believe or don’t believe about yourself. Compliments are someone sharing a genuine thought with you. [oddonegone]
8. Body Language
Don’t look down constantly when you walk or are talking with someone.
I know there’s lots of cool things to find down there and even cash sometimes but it isn’t worth it, I promise.
Walk at a deliberate pace standing straight, lift your chest up, push your shoulder blades together, pull your chin up but bring the back of your head down a little.
Once you’ve got that down even look around with purpose, steady and intentional, don’t glance nervously. If you happen to lock eye contact with someone hold for 1-1.5 seconds, give a look maybe even smile or a polite micro-nod then look away purposely. [b8le]
9. Laughing Uncomfortably
Laughing after a sentence which makes them feel uncomfortable is a biggie. Any time I see that happen, I think: “you’re not in your comfort zone right now” – you can tell a lot about people by what they laugh about right after they say something.
Source: I coach people in public speaking [SunTzuIsMyFavourite]
10. Fake It
Seriously, that’s the big secret to confidence. Learn to act confident and, the longer you do it, the more confident you’ll actually become. Confidence isn’t something you build solely in your head and then you walk out into the world with it; it’s something that you do and you become good at it. It is a skill and it requires practice. [monkey_sage]