You want to know how to make a marriage work after an affair. It’s happened. You never imagined it would, but it has. Infidelity has impacted your relationship with your spouse. It’s been devastating but throughout the entire ordeal and now in its aftermath, you’ve both been committed to the idea of moving forward and making the relationship work. It’s commendable but it’s also challenging. Getting past this type of betrayal and rebuilding the shattered bond can be done. You just need to work together and have the goal of a closer and more fulfilling marriage in mind.
Understanding how to make a marriage work after an affair includes learning how to deal with the actual infidelity. You can’t hide under the veil of difficulty and pretend that the affair never took place. You both have to address it head-on. That means that the person who was unfaithful has to start answering some really difficult questions about why it happened and what they felt. The other partner has to be willing to listen and be open to those explanations. This can be the most challenging part of the healing process but it’s essential. Unless you two deal with the affair, you can’t put it behind you.
One of the reasons many people cheat is they stop feeling appreciated within their marriage. That’s because communication breaks down to the point that the only things the couple speaks about are the grocery list and who will be taking care of carpool that week. You have to make an effort to talk about your marriage. It has to be done. If you feel that you don’t have time for it, make time. This is much too important to ignore. Unless you both feel validated within your own feelings, the marriage can’t be saved.
Reconnecting on both an emotional and physical level can take time. It’s something you must work on each day though. A very valuable piece of advice when you are considering how to make a marriage work after an affair is to date your spouse again. You need to make them your priority and you have to make them feel valued and appreciated regardless if you were the person who cheated or you were cheated on. This is a mutual endeavour and it can dramatically change the dynamic of your entire marriage. Once you know and feel that your spouse truly loves you, the affair can drift into your past while you two look towards your future together.