For a lot of people, marriage brings with it some of the most difficult periods in their life. Continuing in a strained marriage can sometimes seem impossible to manage. Sometimes the easiest but not the best option is for you to go separate ways. However, for those who are interested in rescuing their relationship, following these steps to save your marriage would serve you in good stead.
First, increase the quality of your communication. This is not to be confused with increasing the quantity of communication. After all, many people engage in shouting matches that end with nothing accomplished. Though you may physically hear each other during conversation, the key is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Think how you would feel if you were the other person, allow them to speak without being interrupted, and you can expect the same in return. Be forgiving if your partner forgets to do the same from time to time. Focus on what YOU can do right to save your marriage.
If you are struggling with loathing or even hatred of your spouse, remember why you married your partner. Imagine how wonderful things were in the beginning. Think hard, and figure out what has changed since then. Could things possibly return to the way they used to be? Most importantly, think of what you could do to be a better spouse. Try to do nice things for your spouse that you did when you were dating and in love. Again, it is important to focus on your own actions rather than the actions of your partner.
Think of the mountains of issues that would need to be addressed in order to legally end the relationship. Divorce is costly, at the very least one party would need to find a new place to live. It is also source of shame and stress for many divorcees, and traumatic for everyone involved.
If there are children present in your relationship, there is significant reason to decide to work through the problems. Are you really ready to completely change your life and the lives of your children, and also alter friendships with family members and friends?
Finally, one of the most devastating aspects of marriage is the occurrence of cheating. If there has been infidelity in the relationship, salvaging the situation grows much more complicated. However, it is not hopeless. It is ultimately up to the partner who was wronged to decide whether or not to continue the relationship. No matter how much the offender may want the marriage to continue, the hurt may be unbearable in some situations. The offender must step back and be respectful of his or her partner’s wishes. If the wronged party does in fact want to save the marriage, the couple ought to visit a counsellor who can help them through the turmoil.
Though marriage can be extremely challenging, it can also be extremely rewarding. Deciding to save your broken marriage is a sign of hope for the future. There are never any guarantees that a relationship will work out perfectly, but striving to understand your partner has an amazing and positive impact.