The Dumbest Things People Have Had to Explain to Their Co-Workers

Printers don’t run on cyanide, China is in Asia – why do these things require an explanation?

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We’ve all had that one really dumb co-worker whose stupidity and employed status baffles us. Redditors list out the most obvious, stupid things they should not have but had to explain to their co-workers.

1. 12-9=3 NOT 4

A friend had to explain that it’s 3 hours between 9 am and noon. Not to one, or two but to three coworkers. Finally he flips his shit and screams “Anyone who think it’s four hours between 9 and 12 is a F**KING MORON!”

He tried everything, even made a sketch on paper of a clock and tried to explain. The way they did it was like this: they put up one finger and said “it’s nine, (puts up another finger) ten, (puts up another finger) eleven, (puts up another finger), and twelve. So it’s FOUR hours between 9 and 12.” [Mighty72]

2. Yeah!

“In the English language, if a word starts with a ‘Q’, it is almost always followed by a ‘U’.”

“Oh yeah? What about croissant?!” [ExxInferis]

3. DUH!

A screen that says “Enter your telephone number” with a box under it to type in your telephone number and click Continue. That’s literally the only thing on that screen.

“What am I supposed to do here?”

I… how the f**k do you not starve to death because you forgot how to eat food? [ffxivthrowaway03]

4. A Computer Screen Is Not a Bulletin Board

That the 2nd monitor she requested is not just for sticky notes.

Literal sticky notes, not the windows version. Her entire screen just has yellow pieces of paper on it. [Saintblack]

5. This Dude

All the same person:

That you can keep typing when you reach the right side of the screen, the text will wrap to the next line. He would hit enter when his text reached the side of the screen, like a typewriter. I swear it’s like I blew his mind when I told him to just keep typing.

That color printers need black ink/toner. He was asking why the color printer needs black toner.

That the printer is not in fact low on cyanide

For reference: he’s a 50 something hardware engineer, [apostasism]

6. Sorry, Carol

No, I cannot turn off the “clicking sound” my mouse makes. It’s just the sound it makes, it’s not a f**king sound effect, Carol. [11181514]

7. Capcihe? 

Don’t. Point. The F**king. Nail Gun. At. Your F**king. Face. [CreamPieSatan]

8. China Is in Asia

That Chinese people are technically Asian. He tried to tell me that Chinese people aren’t Asian and that if you called a Chinese person Asian they’d get offended. I countered with China is the largest country in Asia. So he went and got another coworker who agreed with him and they basically both called me stupid for not knowing something that isn’t true. [ca3040]

9. We’re Not That Cheap

If a customer doesn’t finish their wine you can’t just pour it back in the bottle. [Bundyrum2016]

10. Someone Skipped Science Class in School

That a hippo isn’t a bear, or a fish. [Dave_The_Lefty]

11. Genetically Modified Horses

That mini horses were not regular horses that did not have enough room to live and grow… [jgoods77]

12. Don’t Sh*t Yourself

You need to stop trying to force a fart on other coworkers. It has twice resulted in you shitting yourself at work. We aren’t even going to pretend anymore that we covered for you and did not tell the boss you had an emergency and had to leave. We definitely told him you shit yourself again and had to go home and get new pants. [sweaty_obesity]

13. The Magic Fax Machine

I’m not sure this counts, because I didn’t explain much, just sort of boggled at the stupidity of it.

Phone rings (Me) “Department of blah blah, how may I direct your call?”

She to (other party) Could you fax us some paper for the fax machine? We’re out.”

(Me) “Sure th…wait, what?”

She actually meant it. [slice_of_pi ]

14. That’s Your JOB

Worked in childcare. Had to explain to a co-worker that if you suspect a child is being abused at home, you’re legally obligated to report it. He was just like, “nah, I don’t really wanna get involved. If i don’t report it no one will know.” Yeah, that’s the fucking problem. [cold_toast_n_butter]

15. We Love Jesus 

We hang Christmas stockings along the walls of our bar. A waitress was real excited that we hung one for Jesus. I had to explain it was for Jesus, he works in the kitchen. [xAlkaline13x]

 

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