One of the hardest things a wife can go through in life is the realization that her husband has been cheating. We immediately try to find within ourselves the reasons why he cheated. Following the anger and shock, comes the low self-esteem and lack of purpose. We want to know why and who is this other woman that turned our life upside down. Discovering who your husband cheated with can be painful but nothing is more shocking than when we discover that the reasons he cheated may have nothing to do with you.
Researchers have shown that cheating is usually a decision that has little to do with the partner cheated on. It is more a conflict within the cheater. Low self esteem, lack of confidence and age can sometimes be behind the decision to have an affair. Men usually don’t deliberately go out looking for a way to hurt their partner. However, some feel the need to prove to themselves that they still can achieve the same results that they did when younger. In this case, cheating is also not linked to the person they choose to cheat with. They could actually be the instrument to fulfill a temporary emotional need and more often than not forgotten once that emotion is replaced with fear and guilt. An affair can be the way cheating husbands find to seek emotional reassurance rather than for physical attributes.
Lack of maturity is also a common reason for husbands to cheat. Mature men tend to have more conviction of their choices and the sacrifices that need to be made in order to be successful in a relationship. Commitment is not such a big step when we know our marriage is healthy and fulfilling.
For many couples it is difficult to admit that after the birth of a child or due to stressful jobs their sexual life slows down quite a bit. For husbands, this can be particularly difficult when flirtation and fantasy is also gone. Partners need to discuss ways of keeping the “spice” in the relationship and make time for them. Introducing healthy fantasies can also keep them sexually attracted to each other avoiding curiosity that can lead to infidelity.
With so many studies on cheating husbands, is difficult to know all the different reasons why men cheat. But it is important to consider many possibilities before reaching the wrong conclusions. Often spouses of cheating husbands beat themselves over something they have no control. Understanding your partner can be the beginning of a stronger and happier life with or without him
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